7 miracles in this world

Curse them...

I usually will make a short conclusion before the ending of a semester.

I don't think is short, for this semester, so many incidents happened to me, that's gonna be super long..

Well, before I talk about the conclusion, lets see what happened on today.

Today we had a soft skill programme in Pj campus, so in the early morning after we had our breakfast and on our ways to bus station, I noticed that the street was very quiet and empty, unusual scene because normally the street very noisy 1 in the early morning and we were discussing as well. When we walked until the mamak nearby the LRT station, we heard somebody shouting from behind and when we turned our heads, a girl which was just 3 meters behind from us and we were the nearest to her, she fell down and a 2 malays idiots were trying to snatch her bag. First thing on my mind was, I don't know what was happened because everything happened within 3 seconds, and the idiots didn't manage to get her bag. The girl 's shirt was damaged. We can't see the plate number as well.

SO here, THOSE who stay in Wangsa Maju especially GIRLS.. Pls take note.. When you are walking alone , Try to walk inside the shop.. KEEP YOUR EYES ON SURROUNDINGS.. If you notice that any motor approaching you, please run away Imediately.. There are few black spots, One of it is the Jusco back door to Metroview, PLEASE AVOID OF TAKING THAT ROAD!!! Try not to put all ur luxurious gadgets in your bag, and if you like to hold your handphone and wallet with your hand.. Hold it in front of ur tummy, don't hold it at the side, people might just grab it easily. I think I practise to someone before..

You will never know when the crimes will happen, So prevention is important!

P.R.U

Polite, Respectful, Unemotional.

These are what we learnt from the soft skills. How we greet people, how we shake hand, How we kiss, How we hug +++ very interesting..

Now is study week, I have my own schedule to study.. The next post will be the conclusion for my Y2T3.. After Monday and Tuesday, I still got Wednesday Thursday Friday

冲动

Just now when i was having my nightwalk around my condo,
almost 1am, I feel like walking to carrefour, wangsa maju section 4,

But walked halfway then turned back d, super scary, so dark and yet no people at there.. Seriously is very dangerous, pls dun try except if you wanna die..

I am wondering what is her feeling when i used the sentence " I miss you" for the 1st time..

When I am down, I cannot study, as a result, I will do something crazy..
" sleep early except if u wanna die early" not I said 1... but good to hear that..

四点钟

已经连续两天睡不足三个小时

当我不够睡眠时

我会一直觉得想吐

昨天早上

吐了两次，但由于没吃东西

吐的都是胃里面的酸液

很恶心

最近也都在最后一分钟做功课

没办法

自从我去医院过后

变得很懒惰

这个学期

压力很大

一来刚拿到ptptn,要维持1st class

二来，同学都很强，竞争很大

最后是我对自己的要求很高

只要做好本分

就没问题了

情绪

是一个很抽象的东西

它可以导致我不吃东西，不睡觉，不读书

希望接下来这几个星期，不要有任何事发生

不要弄我伤心，不要刺激我

除非你要我马上进院

请多多鼓励我

如果我拿到presiden list，一定会报答你

请不要猜测我的脑在想什么

因为你永远都不会知道

无根据的猜测只会有破坏，不会有进步

你要知道什么东西，要知道原因

请来电询问

每分钟收费是一零吉

超过半小时会有折扣

欢迎来电询问

最近怀念小时候的我

他妈的超可爱、

很像捏他的脸

这就是丑小鸭变天鹅

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好欠打噢
不要紧
还有一张
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还是最喜欢这张=）

三点钟

走在细雨中

吹着冷冷的寒风

好舒服

没压力

慢慢的走

一步一步地感觉每一秒的珍贵

昨天刚开始我的study week'

第一天读书几乎就要了我的命

没吃午餐和晚餐

压力太大了

还有一个月要挨

剩下最后一颗可以吃的药丸

可以顶到一个月吗？

现在胸口好痛

很不舒服

但是还是要赶完我的功课

忍着痛

还有一个月

很快就到了

我应该能够平安的度过

我相信我的坚持

我能走下去

其实

我知道这个学期我的成绩退步了

很明显那一中

我也知道问题的所在

但我不能在这里谈

担心会吓死人

最重要还是在于最后的考试

我要打好这场战

过后安心进院疗伤

我只剩下我的意志力

活下去

那些拥有健全的同学

请好好爱惜健康

好好的考好这次的考试

胡思乱想

昨天发了个很奇怪的梦

梦见我的朋友驾车驾的很快

我就骑着摩多跟着他

过后我们经过一条桥

他的车突然失控飞了下去

我也不知道怎样的跌下去

过后我很努力的救了他

爬上岸后

很多人在那边围着看

不久

警察来了

他说要带我去医院

我告诉他我有考试，不能去

从这里可见

我的心理无形中有了压力

日有所思

夜有所梦

cruelty or reality??

Had my last tutorial test, when lecturer was chatting with coursemates, I opened his file and found the answer script then i find a nice place sitting and copy...

He gave tips and said that the final will be similar as mid term but he never gv us the mid-term solutions, then i secretly opened his file again and found the answer then use camera and captured down..

2nd

3 days ago I went to hospital, thus I did not prepare well for my ceramics test, during the test i cant answer all the questions, thus I straight asked the solution from lecturer and he did give me some hints. Then i said, narrow down the scopes for final and he did so for me.. my notes arent that thick but now seems like need to read around 15 pages??

3rd

Polymer lecturer is the best. He told us which part will come out in each question.. Then i totally speechless because i dun have to study that early..

4th

The worse is phase transformation.. no hints at all but I already finished my revision..

5th
Rushing for my report right now but cannot concentrate because something happened just now and made me felt so sad and dissapointed.

6th

Tell me what is secret?? once u said secret, then the next day others will know?? is that called secret.. I supposed to have a wonderful week but yet don't know who spoiled it.. is this called cruelty? or reality? why, whenever i wanna do but yet get spoiled by others, can't you guys be mercy to me ?? something that I am not convenient to mention at here, you guys should know that I am very friendly, you know sometimes when u making fun of me and I won't mine, but somehow rather you should able to differentiate between jokes and serious.. If you spoiled something on my plan, seriously i will feel very sad.. You guys make me think of when the time I went hospital and almost die, some celebration was going on behind.. You should know that I can be very cruel as well but I don't.. it is very easy to determine whether your "secret" has been spreading or not especially for me, i can detect it easily..

Damn unhappy right now..

Some people told me, everytime only you are the one who get hurt and thats because you are not cruel enough or in the other word, you are too kind, everytime you take into others' consideration, but will others take into mine consideration?? I cant answer for this and most of the time I cheated myself that I don;t know the answer.. Do remember, reality is always compromise with cruelty.

You know 良心？conscience??

is that exists?? For me, I would say yes..

7th

Thanks for the concern from my friends, I am in the process of recovering.. just pray hard that nothing will happen before my final ends.

8th

Missed a pig.. ^@^

9th

Not in mood

2nd chance for life??

Do u think everyone could have second chance in their lives??

Well, I didn expect I will reach such situation..

Last night, I slept very early, but I felt the pain again and made me can't sleep whole the night,

and yet I must sleep or else my body will be in a critical situation..

And this morning I had my test..

Forget about the test since half of the questions I didn solve because I cant remember what I had studied..

I thought everything will be fine after I took medicine, but yet is still the same..

Scared?? I really felt that scared and worried.. you can see most of the time i am like a kamikaze, not scare of anything... but now.. who says kenji can kill thousand over people 1?? now cant even kill an ant!!!!

考试几时都可以考，生命只有一次

I appreciate the one who told me this..

世人了解我的痛苦，却不能了解我在痛苦中所领悟的境界

God says: kenji, well done, you have been worked hard for so many years already, you have done not only for yourself, but you have done something great to your friends as well, its time for you to rest, take a deep rest ba kenji.....

I felt very weak today and coursemates said I looked very pale...

Some of my friends said that they want my ptptn la, results la, atm ++

Now, who wants my ptptn??

Who wants my ATM?

Who wants my purse, hp?????

Now i am living in an uncertainty, I cant predict also, just that everything I do, must be slower than before..

或许在你真真面对困难时

你才会显得出脆落的自己

命只有一条

它不是贱命

而是一个宝贵的命

Today is my coursemate birthday and I suppose to rest, but I insist to go,

just now we went to pizza hut for a short celebration,

But, i didn drink any cold drink and took any foods for prevention..

They knew my condition,

They ordered some light foods for me but I didn eat also, don't really have mood when I am suffering, the painfulness will just cause yourself pek cek all the time..

Whatever it is...

Juz dun feel like eating..

i went....

I dun wan to say much the details about the incidents in hospital..

I had gone through all the tests.. all the wires were connected to my body from top to bottom..

My case is unique..

anything could happen after this..

The worst thing doctor told me was if u feel smth wrong, pls go hospital immediately or else u may juz "leave" the world.. I am still in KIV...

watever it is, I dun wan to say much..

and I am down, i juz wanna study and end this semester.. sry for disturbing anyone when I was in hospital because i was just too scared and worried..

Lung disease..

My heart felt so pain since last night, every breath that i took i can feel the painfulness of my heart or lung??
I thought after woke up then everything will be fine but yet its still the same..
I was worrying because I dont want to go hospital again.. Then before I went to clinic, I chat with moon but yet scolded by her.
kEnJi says:
from last night until nw
later i got to see doctor le
sam... I Love ES says:
should ve go to see earlier lo
=.=
kEnJi says:
i thought after woke up everythig will eb fine
sam... I Love ES says:
u tot only
even is fine later will be worse also
kEnJi says:
aiks..
wait for the clinic to open
then see wat doctor says lu
if she says hv to go hospital
the most i can go was on wed
sam... I Love ES says:
suan la you
i also lazy wana talk to u
kEnJi says:
='(
sam... I Love ES says:
in my eye ur just damn stupid
nothing is important then our body healthy
kEnJi says:
i knw..
sometimes
i juz cnt put my health as priority'
sam... I Love ES says:
then suan lo
tat's why i said u are stupid enought
suan la u go to see doc later la
duwan chat with u d
sien
kEnJi says:
yer..
my heart already felt the pain la
dun la hurt it again...
sam... I Love ES says:
i didnt hurt it a
u hurt it urself not me
kEnJi says:
T_T
later i sms u n tell u wat doctor sayd ba
sam... I Love ES says:
okok
u better rest after tat also
ur study just try ur best la
if fail then let it fail la
study so hard for wat
=.=
kEnJi says:
heart attack lo if fail
sam... I Love ES says:
fail suan d la
u alr unhealthy now
kEnJi says:
aiyo..
sam... I Love ES says:
who care ?
kEnJi says:
waiting for sem break
then i can go for relaxing
sam... I Love ES says:
no point to wait
no reason also
kEnJi says:
final is juz around the corner..
sam... I Love ES says:
mine also la
next week i alr nid to take my final test for ccna
this week i should complete the chapter exam
but still got a lot yet no time also
try ur best only
cannot then suan lo
work so hard
b4 graduate u die d
then useless la
earn so much later all spent in medical expense also fei one la
kEnJi says:
yaya...
mum told me
got money bt dun hv chance to spend
no points
sam... I Love ES says:
this one should ve know since very early lo
u alr 21st le
stil cant get it
tat's why i also very lazy to advice d
u want die then is ur choice
i wont so good go pull u back one
u should know how to weight wat is more important
sam... I Love ES says:
i duno u la
how to take care of health u also duno
who wana teach u oo
meal not balance ... not regular ...
eat like not eat
sleep
sleep at the wrong time
so few somemore
better dont sleep
u fuyan ur own body only
no one will care
sick is u sick not others

Then I went to clinic myself..

After waited for an hour, finally my turned.

Went inside, the doctor asked me to take off my cloth and checked for around 15 mins.

Then she asked me, do you have any exams?

When she asked this, i already know smth is wrong... Then i said no, just got test on tomorrow..

Then she said I would advise you to go Hospital Kl because I worries that u got pneumothorex, a kind of lung disease and you need to take 2 x-rays for confirmation..Then she wrote a letter for me and asked me to pass to emergency department, fuck, and again the department I hate it..

I got stunned...

I said, I have no ideas.....

Then she replied, I will give you 2 types of medicines, if cnt recover, pls go there immediately before it is too late....

You guys definitely I wont go hospital..

And I am still facing tests, assignment and report... and yet final is just around the corner..

I am damn fucking worry and no MOOD right now... I had lost my concentration for the test that i am going to prepare for tomorrow..

LEt me DIe, That;s IT...... I dont know what shud I do now and I can't do anything... Just hope that the medicines I took got effect or else I gonna go.. or die...

I am not kidding, my left lung, every breath i took its really killing..

you won't know how pain that i bear with.. and yet I am down and I cant find anyone to talk with.. suan le ba.. I should calm down myself before making any decision that best fit my studies and my health...

Sibeh bad luck.

Assignment and presentation due today..
Before my presentation,
I received a call from mum and she told me that my youngest cousin ,which is just 4 months old fell from the stairs while his grandma carried him, then immediately he had been sent to hospital, and yesterday just came out. According to the x-ray, there is a small crack on his head, poor little fella, mum said he looked so pale and suffering.... Evryone is worrying his condition, mum just rushed back to penang.


When I walked from utar back door, i can feel something is wrong with my shoe, but I just ignored.
You guys know my style right, even normally I talk also is like a machine gun, so when i was presenting, there were 2 factors which caused me present in a high velocity condition, 1st of all, My lecturer got to rush for meeting, secondly, I need to finish my presentation as fast as possible so that other group would have chance to present on today. When I started my presentation, She was laughing there, then she stopped me and asked me not to be so nervous, then i said, i am not nervous, but this is my style.. I guess plenty of marks gone... nvm..
Then there was a fella I think was andrew standing outside of my class and peeping my coursemate's presentation. My lecturer was so angry and she straight stand up and walked slowly and approached him, the fella was like get shocked and zhao edi...

AFter our presentation, she distributed my phase test 2, i got 17/30 but the highest is 28/30.. 1st time ever i saw such a huge dicrepancy between me and my coursemate. I was deeply sad..its like I gonna lose everything in my course and everyone is like ready to attack me since I loss my "jade of authority".

Even my shoe also want to bully me since I loss in everything..

This happened when I was on my way to wait for the metro bus.
I was so damn fucking dulan n pek cek.. So i just took taxi because i cant even walk with the shoe. Damn fucking no mood..
But no matter how, pray hard for my little cousin..

月亮生气了

sam... I Love ES says:
u dai sei one
kEnJi says:
yer..
i got eat
i got rest
i got sleep wo..
bt my weight still decreasing
sam... I Love ES says:
suan la u
kEnJi says:
i also duno wat to do..
sam... I Love ES says:
i duno u la
kEnJi says:
then everyday headache
='(
sam... I Love ES says:
too tension gua
relax la u
study til so san fu then will make thing worse only
kEnJi says:
stress actually cnt control
especiall b4 test n exam
sam... I Love ES says:
yalu i know
express it lu
release it out
kEnJi says:
usually i will jz keep quiet
until the test is over
sam... I Love ES says:
good lo
then heachache
here ache there ache
i also duwan choi u d
so stuborn
ish
ei nono

她真的生气了

因为她埋怨我没有照顾好自己的健康

她说，直道我去看了医生，才会理我

她真的很坏

在我最需要她的时候却不理我

伤心='(

昨天晚上

我很努力的读书

但却读不进脑袋

因为朋友出事了，她要我回kajang因为需要我的安抚

可惜，我办不到

月亮刚好又有事做，不能帮到她

我读不进脑

很烦

很想找人谈天，但找不到

整个晚上都很不安宁

因为朋友最需要我的时候我却不能陪伴在她身边

搞到我很烦，很心酸

4月5号

等下

就是月亮的生日

我们的友谊长跑了很多年

我们的故事永远都写不完

她

很了解我

也很会欺负我

因为她知道我很固执

所以每次都逼我

上两个星期，我的心情突然低落

她

以最真诚的心和她那最纯真的声音

唱了一首歌给我听

我闭上了眼睛

被她的歌声深深的被感动了

这种朋友

哪里找？？

生日快乐月亮
我告诉她一句
做我一辈子的好朋友
她答应了
永远祝福她
任何人读到这一片
请你问为她献上一个祝福吧
谢谢

有一种生命已到了尽头的感觉

全身都觉得很不舒服
不是这里痛就是那里痛
都不知道搞什么鬼

就是因为有你这种人...

如果我是医生就好咯
可以自己医自己
但是我很像说过
医生能够医别人的病
但他却永远医不了自己的病
我就是一个很好的例子

朋友需要帮忙的地方
我都尽我能力去办到
但自己有麻烦时
妈的，自己当时都不知道在做么

学业和健康
如何去平衡？？
我看到
很多人可以为了考试，为了功课
一整天就是不睡觉
我也是其中一个
甚至可以忙到忘了吃午餐和早餐
长期下去
死没有？？ 必死无疑

有时就是很矛盾
天天叫人早睡
自己就迟睡
天天叫人不要这样给自己压力
自己却给自己更大的压力

或许我叫人做的事情，就是我自己要做的
我最近应该很忙
但我不觉得自己很忙
还很轻松
享受

Curret "diu" life...

Supposed to have two tests on yesterday,
But we were able to cover only one subject, thus I didn;t study another subject so when reached class, I straight asked lecturer to postpone the test to next week..
I took risk and I won..

Another subject, the crazy 1 due to the cutie female lecturer.
Before she distributes the test question papers, she said" today is good friday, hope that you all can do well".

Once I got the paper, I was like aiks.. again.. those stupid questions.. Because I was stupid too, thus I settle all within 15 mins but spent 1 hour to check.???
For my previous test, I wasn't understood what I was studied, but now, is because I understand too much about the subject, means I think too much, keep changing the answers... walaoweh.. die weh...

I get headache easily recently, almost once in a day, especially at night when i am studying or doing my stuffs, too stressful for me i think..

Yesterday after my test, went to KLCC with heng dais to watch clash of titans and after that had our dinners in chijlis , but yet we got bad fucking services..
Then what for we paid for the service charge idiot???

Being a leader always gt "diu" by people,
passed by and didn say Hi also gt "diu" by people,
Indirectly being middle person also gt "diu" by people,
Forgot to eat and yet gt "diu" by people,
Pro "diu" me,
Noob also "diu" me,
Coursemates "diu" me
Lecturers love me until always call my name and "diu" me,
I scored good results also gt"diu" by people,
I scored bad results but yet also gt "diu" by people,
When I am sicked and yet get "diu" also,
Help people and get" diu",
Helpless also get "diu",
Think too much and get "diu"
think too less also get "diu"
I myself always "diu" myself...
aiks.. what a wondeful life isn't it??

Nvm.. I am in the process of recovering... once I fully recovered, my time to "diu" people d..